Soulmate Complication

I walk a journey that is naturally one of being alone. I am the warrior, priest and devil all rolled in one.

In all my Caveman ways I believe in and hold love as important. Even when females see it as the biggest loser link while running away from it screaming in utter denial.

I have fell in love, loved and in love currently.

And this isn't about picking and choosing between this one or that. I got that big giant bat symbol type of light bulb go off in the beginning. So I understood this was the One again. Not just another female to pay with and discard when I got bored or annoyed or both.

In my normal way I told Lil Red what I wanted with her and what I was feeling. Why not? It was the truth, plain and simple. For the first time that took the ultimate turn for the worst. I would never had predicted that one right at all to that point. Because I was direct brought about disbelief, distrust and more. Damn, but I thought it was supposed to work out better when you are direct and up front. Nope, not at all I learned. And not just from her but from other females as well.

See, for me things are very simple when I tell you that you are the One. The woman that makes me happy, challenges, satisfies, comforts, supports and pleases me. It is not complicated. You are the one that I want to be with forever and ever regardless of the few things that are different between us. Like Daredevil, the Man Without Fear I know that she is the one that I would marry happily.

I know the concept is strange for human beings. That I actually like and keep the woman that fulfills as much of my needs as she can. I am not the man to have the vanilla trophy wife at home because she looks better to society's fucked up so called standards. I need my Lil Red, the woman that I can enjoy baking naked with only an apron on in the kitchen to attending a black tie gala and smiling as everyone partakes in my eye candy that I have on my arm. Or that she is seen as wifey material as I enjoy the freaky, slutty whore that she gives me. See I want what makes me happy and content. Fuck what others think.

But we conflict. Because of differed experiences and thinking. I really wish she could feel and grasp what I feel and think fully. That there are no questions and I merely tell it straight from my mind and heart openly. But that is not reality. And I accept and attempt to understand more and more of her constantly. It doesn't change my love and vision for her and me.

I sit back remembering our adventures so far and what if and could be. Love in full effect, held in check only because it has to be. For her comfort and semblence of normalcy. A steady manicured effect of apathetic relationship, hidden behind the non public domain of knowing.

I love her, love her deeply. On the same level of when I got married. But I don't push the issue nor make any efforts so there is only peace. Whatever happens is whatever it ends up being.

In the end. The Last Ride is all that this will be!