Reflections Within the Flames

I have to say this weekend really was chaos and core changing. To have some things realized and others to come out of the blue and slap you in the face. Definitely created a restore point in the multiverse. *lol*

Even my thoughts on bdsm have had some rearranging. I have a larger understanding of just how high the ratio is of kink and play to relationships. I have had a chance to witness some wonderful relationships as well as the blueprint for don't do this. The aspect of s types being property and not something more than that or the dynamic of having an emotional attachment. I have seen both at work for long term.

Because of my marriage I had wanted the emotional and romantic tie concept in a dynamic. Even though I have seen it at work. I wonder if that was ever a possibility or did you have to strike it rich and meet someone that can actually do that?

I have actually treated most like property and one like other. The result...*insert evil laughter here* Came to a conclusion of null.

In preparing myself for probabilities and possibilities of outcomes doesn't change that I have a reaction to them or not. I merely assimilate and then move on.

I have no problem saying I found what i want. Knowing what I want is the culmination of all the analyzing. But this knowing what I want and relations involve a human, not just me. So there is the variable that I have nothing to do with. And regardless of me being sure and knowing, that doesn't not transfer over to humans.

At this point in life I have tended to stick to finding what I want, that will keep me satisfied and happy. Maybe a faux pas in this society of different thoughts. But this is from dealing with that emotional, caring, loving bullshit part of me. The one that unfortunately has slipped out more in these past years during escapes.

The escapees have been corraled again. Locked down again.

After this thing ends with LR it is back to the Build a Bitch Program again. This time in a fully sadistic and dark temperment.

*tossing the fucking hand grenades*